


He Suffers In Silence

by Levi__Acker_Gay



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi__Acker_Gay/pseuds/Levi__Acker_Gay
Summary: He had messed up. Had gotten the people he loved killed. He had failed them. And he was not going to be punished for it. Nobody blamed him, but that didn't matter, not when he blamed himself.
Kudos: 14





	He Suffers In Silence

**Author's Note:**

> It probably doesn't make sense.

Levi stumbled away from the group of laughing and joking group of soldiers. He tried to ignore the laughs, the care-freeness they had, but he really couldn't. He could only imagine the laughs of his squad.

The memories. He imagined their screams, and they played like a broken record that kept on playing the same cruel things over and over again in his head. He could find no escape from the assault.

He had messed up. Had gotten the people he loved killed. He had failed them. And he was not going to be punished for it. Nobody blamed him, but that didn't matter, not when he blamed himself.

So, Levi decided in that instance he would punish himself.

He stumbled into his room, closing the door behind it, the click sounding like a gunshot through the voices whirling through his mind. _"Disgusting. Weak. Gross."_

Levi grabbed the blade out of the cabinet, and half fell to the floor. He unbuckled his harness and half threw it across the room. He yanked his trousers down, and with shaking hands he brought the cold blade down to the warm skin of his thigh. He shivered at the contact of the cold metal.

Levi slashed at the skin when the torrent of voices dialled up a notch to screaming and then let out a sigh as the pain that helped him ignore the verbal attack. He pressed down harder onto the blade and blood rose quickly and dribbled down slowly from the deep cuts.

He grabbed the black towel and mopped up the trails of blood on his thigh and the drops on the floor. He grabbed the first aid kit and wrapped the bandages around his thigh. He threw the towel into the wash basket and shoved the blade back into the cabinet.

He slumped onto the bed without grace, his shoulders hunched: as if waiting for an attack by those damned voices that haunted him day and night. The thin walls could not block out the voices from downstairs. Obviously no one would check on him, why would they, he thought, no one cared.

**Author's Note:**

> This was written because I was feeling low. So here you go.


End file.
